Grace in Session: When the Past Interrupts the Present

Have you ever found yourself in a new relationship that feels good on paper but emotionally, you’re not quite there? You care. You’re showing up. You’re trying. But something inside feels… disconnected. Like you’re going through the motions on autopilot, while your heart is still tangled in memories of someone else.

If that’s you, I want to say this gently: You’re not broken. You’re in transition. And transitions take grace.

Why It Feels So Complicated

Lingering thoughts of an ex can show up even when you genuinely like your new partner. It’s not always about wanting the past back, it’s about unresolved emotions, identity shifts, or grief that hasn’t fully settled.

Sometimes, we self-sabotage without realizing it. We pull back emotionally. We compare. We distract ourselves. Not because we don’t care but because caring again feels risky.

A Path Toward Emotional Presence

Here’s a gentle framework to help you move from autopilot to intentional connection:

1. Map the Triggers Notice when thoughts of your ex arise. What’s happening in that moment? What are you feeling? What feels missing? Patterns like boredom, vulnerability, or intimacy often activate emotional residue.

2. Reframe the Past Try this affirmation:

“I’m allowed to feel, but I choose to focus on what’s growing now.” You don’t have to erase the past. You just don’t have to live in it.

3. Engage Mindfully Create rituals with your partner that invite emotional presence:

• Shared prayer

• Reflective check-ins

• Creative dates that spark joy and curiosity When distraction creeps in, name the thought, release it, and return to the moment.

4. Lean Into Accountability Let trusted friends support your emotional honesty. Define what “doing right” looks like for you:

• Being consistent

• Staying emotionally available

• Speaking truthfully, even when it’s hard

5. Reflect With Compassion Ask yourself:

• What grief am I still carrying?

• What part of me is afraid to be fully seen again?

• What story am I telling myself about love—and is it still true?

A Word of Grace

Affirmation in Practice- “I am not pretending to be okay—I am practicing being present. Healing is not forgetting; it’s choosing what to hold on to.”

You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to feel conflicted. You’re allowed to choose love with both wisdom and tenderness.

And if you’re showing up—even imperfectly—you’re already healing.

Be happy. Be well.

—Jasmine💜